my vag is so smooth its legendary
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
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All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
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Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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