After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
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I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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