just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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