I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize