Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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