Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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