when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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