Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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