ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize