the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There r osticjed everywhere
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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