i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize