I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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