I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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