fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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