the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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