I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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