Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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