I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Someone shit on the floor
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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