its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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