2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize