he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i can't believe i had my finger in that
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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