i wish starbucks made bloody marys
do herpes really smell.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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