I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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