New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize