So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize