I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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