I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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