I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
sex in a hospital.. check
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize