I wish i was in the wii world.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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