I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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