Sry I called you an 8
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize