This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize