is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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