Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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