dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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