he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize