I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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