so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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