Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I still have a little drunk in my system
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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