that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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