WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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