and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize