I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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