great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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