youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
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I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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