My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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