Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize