ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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