Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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