Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
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Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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